I guess this is the point in my life where I need to find out who I am, what I want to do when I "grow up." For the life of me I wish there was a clear answer that just races to my head but there isn't. Occasionally, I would like to think that playing music will make me plenty of money, but for what were are doing right now its unlikely, and I am content with that. Up until a few years ago I was intent on going to school, finding some great job, and eventually settling down. Now the idea makes me sick. I do not even want to stick around anywhere long enough. I feel the intense need to make a contribution somehow, I would like it to be through traveling and playing. I want to be crammed in a van with five of my closest friends going everywhere. Showing kids what true christianity is, or at least how I live my life through Christ. We may end up broke, but you can always make money.

The hardest part in all of this is hearing the advice of those older than me. They are telling me to get a great job, buy a nice car, a house, and make a ton of money. At times it seems hard to choose, I start to think about my options and I hate how I have so many to choose from. My pessimism makes me constantly doubt my strength in all of this. But this would not be interesting and worth it if there was no doubt.

I feel so blessed, I have surrounded myself with a group of great people that let me keep my head in the clouds, who do not judge me. We all think alike and that is refreshing.